


You can’t stop the clocks forever

by storiesandlies



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2833589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesandlies/pseuds/storiesandlies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benni hates working at nights in the hospital during the winter as a nurse because when he comes out of the building it is already bright outside and he knows that he will not sleep well this morning. However he loves the fact that he will see this neighbor of his who always leaves the building in the same moment when he is coming inside. (Well, Benni must confess that sometimes he makes time to meet him even if he has come home earlier because the bus has been faster this day)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There’s only one thing you cannot see every time you talk.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the fic and the chapters are from this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFC3nEJXM8) Stop the clocks by L.A.

Benni hates working at nights in the hospital during the winter as a nurse because when he comes out of the building it is already bright outside and he knows that he will not sleep well this morning. However he loves the fact that he will see this neighbor of his who always leaves the building in the same moment when he is coming inside. (Well, Benni must confess that sometimes he makes time to meet him even if he has come home earlier because the bus has been faster this day)

The funny thing about this is he doesn’t even know the name of this handsome man and he has tried to read his mail but he hasn’t found it.

This morning Benni, whose hair is wet from the rain, receives a beautiful smile from this man, who starts swearing when he realizes that it´s raining so hard and he doesn’t have an umbrella with him. The last thought of Benni after taking off all this clothes and before falling asleep are of this boy with the beautiful smile and how Mats swears when he realises that he is going to get wet because of the rain.

Mats also has changed his schedule for meeting this interesting boy who lives next to him and there are some nights that he doesn’t sleep in his bed. Mats is so intrigued with him that he is always talking at the school, where he teaches German and is very good at it, thank you, making Marco his best friend mocking him about the crush that he has a murder assistant who live next to him. “Because Mats someone who is working at night might be one or a prostitute.” “He can be a bartender. Or I don’t know someone who works at night. Maybe he is police man.” “Nah, I prefer the assassin thing. It makes it more interesting.” “Fuck you, Marco” “You would love it, Mats. You would love it.” Mats sometimes wonders why he is still friends with Marco. He hasn´t found the answer yet.

They spend almost six months with the same tradition. Saying to each other good morning while they are in the old-fashioned stairs even if Benni has had an awful shift or Mats has overslept that morning and has not had time for taking his coffee.

Until one Sunday morning, the wind blowing a little bit heavier than it should be in this season, Benni gets to his door, knowing that his neighbor is not going to say good morning to him because it is the weekend and he doesn’t work during these two days, when he finds that the other one is sitting on the floor with his head between his knees and mumbling something that he can’t understand.

“Are you ok?” Benni asks him and checking that, yes, he is pretty drunk. He can tell just by looking at his eyes and the way that his mouth is a little bit open (and he thinks about what should be kissing those lips but he knows it´s not the time to say it out loud. They don’t know each other, he doesn’t even known his name).

“Umm. Yes? No! I mean. Hi. The problem is… I tried… I tried to open the door but the key doesn’t help me. It doesn’t want to enter the lock.” Benni chuckles at the way the other man tries to explain his issue, blaming the key and not all the alcohol he must have taken during the night. 

“Ok” 

“Don’t laugh at me, blondie,” Mats groans while he tries to get up from the floor to face Benni at the same height. Benni realises that his neighbor is taller than him and he doesn’t know if he likes it or not. “I just want to sleep all the day long, help me with the door please. It hates me. The key hates me. Marco too, but he is a moron I don´t want to talk about ” Mats blurts out like the idiot he seems when he is drunk because Marco always puts a new drink in his hand and he can´t say no it seems. 

“It´s Benni, if you want to know, and I should be sleeping right now too. So if you give me your key I will open the door for you” Benni gently puts his hand in front of him waiting for the key which Mats puts in his hand touching his fingers at the end because, god, why is Benni that beautiful and he has to be the murder assistant with weird schedules. 

“Benni. I like it. I´m Mats.” Benni opens the door without any problem and he hears Mats behind him panting when he sees his house open. 

“God thank you very much. I owe you something” 

“Nah, it´s fine. Just remember to take a painkiller before going to the bed” 

“Good morning Benni. I´ll see you on Monday morning I hope” Mats disappears into his house. Benni just smiles knowing the name of his handsome neighbor and thinking about the Marco name that the other has said. 

When Benni is in his bed, all his clothes in the chair that he has for it, the last thoughts that he has are for the person who is sleeping on the other side of the wall.

******

The shift Benni has this night is quite easy. The patients are sleeping until he has to draw blood at 5 am. So, he finds time to go to the laboratory to meet his friend Draxler who works there and they have known each other for a few years now.

“It´s Mats.”

“What?”

“My neighbor, the one that I´ve told you before…”

“The one that you want to fuck until you die.”

“Julian, you are so gross.”

“Do you want to do it or not?” Benni sighs because he can´t say no to that even if he doesn´t want to admit it.

“So now we know his name…” Jule continues, intrigued. “Have you read his mail again stalker?”

“I just did it one time and he has told me, thank you very much.”

“I don’t believe you. You don’t have the guts to ask him.”

“He was drunk and I had to open his door. Apparently his key hates him.”

“And?”

“Nothing? He entered his house, I entered mine and until this morning I guess when I will say to him good morning.”

“You should try to start a conversation, you know?” Benni protests because he doesn´t see how to do it... “‘Hi, how are you? How is the hangover? Do you want to enter my flat?’ I don’t know, man. It´s not that difficult.

“You think everything is so easy.”

“You look like a eighty year old man who doesn´t want changes in his life.”

“I´m happy with my life. I have my flat, my job which I love…”

“But I can’t remember someone next to you.”

“I don´t need to.”

“Yes you do. But you haven´t realized yet.” Someone appears in the laboratory looking for Bennidikt because a traumatology doctor needs him because of a patient. He says goodbye to Jule who shouts at him to keep him informed about the mysterious neighbor.

******

Benni is late this morning when he enters his building so he doesn’t expect to see Mats. What a surprise he takes when Mats is against the wall when he closes the front door behind him. Presumably waiting for him even if Benni doesn´t want to delude itself.

“Hi Benni.”

“Hi.” Benni can´t actually believe that Mats remembers his name and the conversation they had.

“Look, sorry about what happened yesterday morning...” Mats trails off, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. “I don’t usually drink that much but you know, I have idiot friends.”

“It´s ok. We all have that kind of friends,” Benni replies making Mats smile at his reply.

“Cool. I don’t want you to think that I´m a fool or something like that. It´s fine… if I buy you a cup of coffee to thank you? I mean, because of you I didn’t have to sleep the other night on the landing floor.”

“Eh…”

“It´s ok if you can´t… I just wanted to…”

“Yes. I would like to”

“What? Really? Good! I can´t right now because I have to go to the school… You know, the kids are waiting for their awesome teacher.” Benni laughs at that comment and the idea of Mats with kids makes his stomach flips even if he doesn't like kids that much.

“Look, I don’t work tonight so if you come my door at six it would be nice. I’ll have time to sleep…”

“Perfect. Six would be great” Benni smiles at the way that Mats says the time as if it is good news for him.   

Mats spends the day in his own world thinking about Benni with his bright eyes and beautiful smile. He also thinks about how he could kiss those lips but only after all the time that they would need to talk to each other (and the help of Mats being drunk if he must say it). Even the kids feel that he has something in his mind because they start to ask him why is he so serious today, Mats tells then it´s nothing because he can´t explain to them that probably he has a big crush on this neighbor and he is going to buy him a cup of coffee after half year of getting to the school earlier to see him.

“Mats!” Marco calls him in the teacher´s room while the kids are onin the playground playing a football match.

“What?”

“Have you seen aliens today?”

“Eeeh nope. But sometimes when I see you, I doubt it.” Mats jokes and Marco rolls his eyes hoping his friend would tell him what happened to him.

“Tell me.”

“Do you remember my neighbor?” Marco nods because how couldn’t he remember when Mats doesn’t talk about anything else. “And do you remember how you make me a fool in front of him because you make me drink more than I should…”

“Yes I remember. The assassin one.”

“I kind of… asked him out to drink a coffee together.”

“You! What?” Marco shouts making the other teachers look at them and Mats tells him to chill out because he doesn’t want to make a big thing about the date that he has.

“I owed him something for helping me.”

“Of course you do. It has nothing to do that you want to get through his pants...”

Mats looks skeptical for a few seconds, like he doesn’t know what to answer to that because inside him he knows Marco is right. He had been thinking about Benni even when he didn’t know his name and he called him blondie in his head.

“I don’t know…”

“Don’t think about it, man. Just buy him a cup of coffee, ask him what is his job, send me a message with it. And then you can do whatever you want.”

“Do you only care about the mystery of his job?” Mats asks raising an eyebrow to his friend even if he knows he is just joking. The time of the breaks finish and they have to come to their classes even if Mats just wanted to finish the day and drinks this coffee with Benni.

******

When Mats knocks at Benni´s doors he feels his mouth dry and he can´t think about any words to say to the other one. When Benni opens the door Mats´s eyes go directly to see what he is wearing and he really approved it.  The black t-shirt with the jeans that make his ass nicer than the other pants that he has (Of course Mats has not taken notice about it or that it is what he tells himself)

“For once I see you and I don’t feel sleepy,” Benni says when he notices that Mats is not going to be the first talking. “How has your day been?”

“More or less… The kids have been a little bit noisy but nothing that I´m not used to.”

“Nice to hear that kids can be very stressful.” Benni closes the door putting his hand in the pocket to being sure that he has the key to his house (it wouldn´t be the first time that he has to call Jule to come because he has a copy) “Do you know the coffee shop in the corner? It´s nice and usually there are not a lot of people. We can talk.”

When they enter the shop the girl, who is behind the counter, greets Benni because he is a big fan of coffee and in this place they have one of the best that he has drunk.

“We will sit down today, Anne,” Benni explain to the girl because he usually takes the coffee away.

“So, a big fan of caffeine I see.”

“Ugh you have to be when you work at nights. Trust me. I would be dead by now if it wasn´t for coffee.”

Mats and Benni sit down at a small table with two iron chairs in front of each other while the waiters ask them about what they want. Caffeè Mocca is Mats´ choice while Benni prefers a black coffee for himself.

“So tell me Benni…”

“Actually it is Bennidikt but I´ve never liked it.” Mats chuckled at the way Benni grins at his own stupid comment and blushes a little for it.

“Then, Benni, tell me about yourself. Mysterious man who works at nights.” Benni looks at Mats thinking about what he should tell him because after all, he doesn’t know Mats very well.

“I work at night in the hospital because it´s the shift that gets more money. I need to pay the rent of the flat.”

“So you´re a doctor…” Mats says finally understanding the dark circles under Benni´s eyes some mornings and the tired voice that he had when he said good morning to him. He thinks about how Marco it´s going to be disappointed about the new news.

Bennidikt shakes his head when he hears the other profession that Mats has said. “Nope. Nurse.”

“Oh much better then I would love to see you in that sexy uniform with the short skirt…” Benni laughs aloud making Mats smile at him because he hasn´t heard a sound as beautiful as this.

“Sadly my uniform is boring and unisex. I´m so sorry.”

“Nah, I´m sure you look nice in it.” Benni can’t remember the last time someone tried to flirt with him and it feels so nice. Being with Mats while they drink their coffees feels so nice. “You know I have this friend of mine, the one that makes me drink a lot when we are partying, and I told him once —he is not going to confess that it has been more than once or twice and maybe everyday— that my neighbour had weird schedules and he was sure you are an assassin.”

“Well, you will never know, won´t you?” Mats looks at Benni trying to find if he is joking or not, and when he observes the big smile that the blonde has on his lips he realizes that he would believe him. He couldn´t be an assassin with that nice smile. And if Mats deliberates with himself he can see Benni being a very good nurse.

There are a few minutes without talking between them. Benni looks at his mug while Mats examines what Benni is doing. The waiter questions them if they want something more, they say no politely and Anne disappears behind the shop letting them alone in the place.

“So tell me, what are you doing in Berlin? You don’t seem from here.” Benni is the one asking the question.

“Well, I was born in Munich where I lived until I was 15. Then I went to Dortmund where I finished my degree and then I´m here, working with adorable kids. You?”

“Woah. That´s cool. I grow up in Gelsenkirchen where I studied and had a good life until now. I left my ex-boyfriend with his affair in our bed… I suppose I´m starting again.” Benni looks at Mats evaluating if he has talked too much about himself.

“I am sorry to hear that. You ex have to be an asshole for not wanting you.”

“It´s ok. I am over it. I don’t even know why I´ve told you this.” Mats tries to reach Benni´s hand but he stops himself at the last moment because he doesn’t know if he can do it. Benni doesn’t look at Mats´ eyes for a while because god, it is still hard to talk about it even if he is sure he doesn’t feel anything for his ex-boyfriend.

Mats understands the ex-boyfriend thing is not the best topic to talk about so he chooses to change it. “I am thinking that… if you are from Gelsenkirchen… Schalke fan? Don’t say yes, please.”

“Yes? And proud of it!”

“Agh. I liked you until you said that.” Benni has to smile when he hears that Mats likes him and for the tone of his voice he knows that it´s true.

“Bayern fan I guess?”

“Nope. Do you remember when I told you that I studied the degree in Dortmund? The yellow wall made me love the team even if I wasn´t born there.”

“Right now I am the one that doesn’t like you. Seriously? Dortmund? I thought that we could be friends but…”

“Talking about football with the rival is fun… Don’t be that boring Benni. We can watch the next Revierderby together!”

“I would love that.”

They spend all the evening in the small shop talking about themselves, about Mats´ kids and Benni´s patients, about football and politics. They talk about everything until it´s too late and Anne says to them that she has to close the shop. They end in front of their doors wanting to do something else, to say “come to have dinner with me” but they sleep alone with the idea of talking a little bit more the next day.


	2. Everything happens too fast now it's a part of my past.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benni and Mats start to spend more time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... It's been two months since the last update blame on me and my awful January, travelling and studying and doing normal stuff I guess. I hope the last part doesnt take that long. 
> 
> Thank you so much to [ORANGINA](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ORANGINA/pseuds/ORANGINA) for being so patient with me and my poor english.

Mats enters the teacher´s room the next morning whistling the last song he listened to on the radio with a big smile on his face.

“What the hell has happened to you?” Aubameyang asks Mats when he sees him because everybody in the school knows that Mats is not a morning person at all. Mats just smiles at him and goes to the coffee machine. He may be happy, but he still can´t work without his morning coffee and even more so when he has class with the six year old kids.

“Mats, I´m waiting for your answer.”

“Nothing, it’s just a good day.” Mats sits down at the big table that is in the room and starts to see the units that he wants to finish before the week is over. “Mats Hummels. I didn’t sleep last night waiting for your fucking message.” Reus comes in the room with an angry look on his face and points his finger at Mats, who just laughs at Marco’s reaction.

“I was thinking that he killed you or something like that!”

“Well, as you can see I´m not dead. And he is not an assassin.”

“How can you know?"

“Because he told me.”

“If he is an assassin I don’t think he would tell you, anyway.” Aubameyang points out and Marco smiles because Pierre always supports him even with his crazy ideas.

“I can´t talk with you two, sweet couple,” Marco says.

“Well, you can´t live without us so…” Mats grumbles even if he knows Marco is right. He and Aubameyang have been with him since his first day as a teacher and they have supported him everywhere. Mats is so happy to see that after Mario´s departure left Marco with his heart broken, Aubameyang had found a way to take care of Reus and make him smile more often.

“The question is, if he is not an assassin why the hell doesn’t your neighbour sleep in his home?” Auba requests because he also wants to know the profession of the famous neighbour.

“A nurse.”

“Boring.”

“Because you are not an ordinary teacher in a public school…” Mats declares, taking his book from the table and walking to the door because his first class is going to start. “See you boys. Don’t gossip too much or make out here. I don’t want to see Klopp´s reaction if he sees you”

******

Benni is not a morning person either. When he was doing his internship at the hospital he always tried to choose the afternoon shift because he didn’t have to wake up early. But people get old and you have to accept that sometimes you have to do things that only can be made in the mornings and because that day was his free day after leaving Mats in front of his door he put the alarm clock because he had to go to the bank and do the food shopping. His fridge was starting to be very empty.

He thinks about Mats and the last evening. About the way Mats always laughed at his stupid jokes and how he listened to everything he told him, even his boring past with his ex-boyfriend. Benni is starting to have a big crush on this neighbour and probably the other one was only be friendly because he helped him with the key that morning.

Benni is still in the bed trying to find any good excuse to be under the sheets a little bit more when his phone sounds on the bedside table, he grumbles because seriously, he is not a morning person; why don’t peoplelearn that?

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Julian says on the other end of the phone. “You have to tell me about yesterday.”

“Julian, I am in bed. Can´t you wait a few more hours?”

“Don’t _Julian_ me. I know you are awake because you have to be a human being who needs to buy food and pay the rent at the bank.”

“I could be in bed with someone else.”

“Is Mats with you?”

“No.”

“Then, there isn´t anyone,” Julian declares because he knows Benni and he might like this neighbour a lot but he is not going to sleep with him after a coffee. “Tell me about yesterday.”

“I shouldn´t tell you for being that rude.”

“Come on, Benni. I have listened to you talking about him for months and now you are not telling me anything.”

“Fine… We spend all the evening talking in the coffee shop next to our building. And he is so nice, he works as a teacher in a school. He told me that he thought I was an assassin because of my timetables and I can´t be bothered because I know my shifts are shit…” Benni starts to babble because when he thinks about the last evening he can´t be logical. He really enjoyed the time with Mats. Jule smiles at the phone even if Bene doesn’t see him because it´s the first time since he has known him that he sees Benni really enthusiastic about someone. “It was a nice evening. The only bad thing is that he is a Borussia Dortmund fan…”

“Ugh I liked him until now,” Jule grimaces when he hears the rival name and Bene laughs at his tone of voice when he says it. “He seems nice, Benni. I´m happy for you.”

“Yesterday doesn’t mean anything.” Benni buries his head in the pillow because he can´t have aspiration about Mats. He has never had luck in his romantic life and he is sure it´s not going to change.

“I doubt that, Benedikt. He seems fond of you too.”

“I don’t know… I think he is just charming with everybody.”

“We will see Benni but I have the feeling that I´m gonna know him sooner or later. For now I will hang up because I have to go to the hospital this evening. I’ll see you around. And keep me informed about the neighbour.”

“I will do it, Jule. Bye.”

After the conversation Benni gets out of bed and after a good breakfast and cleaning a little bit his living room he goes to do all the errands that he wanted to do. He was hoping to find Mats at some point in the building but he is not lucky. He wants to know what Mats is going to do when they meet again but as it seems he has to wait a little more.

******

Benni doesn’t know anything about Mats the next following days and he feels like crap because even if he is a pessimistic person he thought that the evening with Mats had gone quite well.

But he continues his life because it is what he has always done. Keep going even if everything is dark or painful. His mother used to say to him that he was the strongest boy in his class, not because he could run a lot, but because he could get through every stone that was in his way.

So he continues. He closes his door at 8:30pm to go to the hospital and he smiles at every patient that he has when he has to change some medicine. Nobody notices that he is actually sad, that he presumes at least that Mats and he could be good friends apart from being neighbours.

Draxler is the only one who knows that he is not good but he also knows his friend and Benedikt is not that kind of person who always talks about what he feels. So he just let him go and he knows that he would tell him when the correct moment comes.

Benni is finishing up dinner, thinking about what movie he is going to watch when the front door rings. He doesn't know who it can be because Draxler or Huntelaar (who told him that they should have lunch together now that the Dutch is in Berlin), haven't told him anything.

“Were you sleeping?” Mats asks cheerfully to Benni who still doesn’t know how to take the call of his neighbour. He wears a black t-shirt with blue jeans that makes him even more handsome than he actually is. Benni really wonders why Mats hasn’t a boyfriend because everybody would want to be with him.

“Uh, no? I was just watching the Arsenal-Chelsea match that was on the TV. Do you need anything? I don’t know if I have salt…”

“Why should I need salt when the only thing that I know how to cook is pasta?” Benni laughs because Mats is funny even if he is not trying to be and he may be upset about not knowing about him in the previous days but surprisingly Benni sees Mats smiling against his door and he can forgive him about the not talking for two days.

And that thought scares him a lot.

“Look Benni, I´m so bored at home. Please, tell me you can invite me inside and I will make you my best pasta plate for dinner," Mats almost begs in front of Benni because he can go like the cool boy but he has been trying to find an excuse to talk to Benni more than a good morning. It had to be Marco after two days at work seeing him uptight, thinking about Benni when he just said to him: “ _You are stupid Hummels. Go to his house and say that you are bored he will let you in_.” So here he is crossing his fingers hoping Benni would let him in.

“Ok. Come on. But I´ve already cooked the dinner so your pasta must wait for another day.”

And maybe it’s just a sentence but Benni has talked about another day, about more times together and Mats is not going to forget that. He will invite him to his house and will try to cook his best dish.

They spend the evening again together. Mats thinks about it as a date while Benni still doesn´t know how to take whatever it is with Mats.

They talk about life and hobbies. They learn a lot about each other more than they know about some people that they have known all their lives. Benni learns that Mats favourite writer is Chuck Palahniuk and he can read in the school because ten year old kids have 30 minutes of reading every day at school and he is the teacher who takes care of them. So he is always reading some new book and giving a good image to his students. Benni also learns that Mats loves chocolate because after the dinner —which Mats loves and he says to Benni that he is going to go there more often, making Benni smirk because he doesn’t mind at all— he almost eats all the chocolate bar that he has.

Mats learns that Benni used to have the evening-shift in Gelsenkirchen but now he is comfortable with the night-shifts even if it makes him seem as an assassin like Mats had said to him the previous day. Mats knows that Benni is shy not because he was always like that more like life had made him like that; he learns that because he can read between sentences not that the nurse has told himself. He learns that Benni loves travelling around the world because his smile is a little bigger when he talks about that gap year that he took and all the different places that he could visit.

They talk until it is too dark outside and Mats has to leave but before he gets Benni's number because: “You know in case I need you to open my door again. Or I don’t have dinner and I can come here to let you feed me” and Benni doesn’t laugh at the stupid commentary like he has a big crush on Mats. (Because he hasn’t seriously even if a little voice similar to Draxler´s says to him that yes, he has)

They start to see each other almost every day. At first it is only Mats who calls at his door and starts random conversations about their jobs or about weather but with time, and Benni realises that he doesn’t need a lot with Mats to actually trust him, he is the one who is always at Mats´ apartment complaining about the lack of food in Mats´ fridge or how comfy his sofa is. (Benni has slept there a few of his free nights because he was too tired to just open his own door. Mats can´t say no to him. Not when his favourite thing is have breakfast with the grumpy Benni who has just woken up. Mats almost did something stupid that night when Benni fell asleep on his shoulder while they were watching the last Top Chef programme because he really wanted to kiss him but he held back because he knew it wasn't the right moment.)

They also start this new routine when Benni has the evening-shift at the hospital where Mats waits until he has finished and they usually finish having dinner together in some cheap restaurant. Mats loves that moments when Benni speaks so passionate about his job and everything that makes him angry about his boss or some co-workers. What Benni loves more are the evenings when he is too tired to go anywhere and they finish is his house eating more ice-cream than they should and watching Pretty Little Liars because there isn´t anything better in the TV. (Actually Benni knows that Mats is in love with the show and he doesn’t mind watching it while he is resting in Mats´ lap)

That night they are going to the best Italian restaurant that Mats has tried in the city and Benni just laugh at him because Mats just loves food and he´s said that from every restaurant that they had tried in the past months. 

“You have a problem with food, Mats” A joyful Benni says looking at the GPS because he doesn’t trust Mats orientation after all the times they had finished wandered through the city.

“I don´t” Mats refuses looking at Benni who raises an eyebrow because both know that what he has said is truth.

“Whatever”

“I will invite Marco the next time. He doesn’t treat me that bad”

“Ok” It´s the only thing that a bitter Benni says because he knows he hasn´t anything with Mats but he can´t also denied that Mats´ talking about his very _good friend Marco_ makes him jealous. Mats is silence for a while until he knows Benni is thinking too much because is something that Benni does a lot, so he keep the silence until he has parked the car near the restaurant and they are in cold street because winter is coming just around the corner.

“Benni, what´s happened? 

“Nothing” Benni says with a thick voice because both know that is not true.  

“I don´t believe you, Benni. You can talk to me, you know that right?”

“Ok. Let´s gonna get this clear. You and Marco are friends. And just friends?” A concern Benni asks after thinking too much about them. And he gets that he needs the truth, he needs to know if there is something special with Mats because he thinks that there is but he is also so paranoid after what happened with is ex-boyfriend.

“Are you jealous Benni? Because that sounds jealous to me” Mats jokes at Benni´s question but inside him he is happy because the situation is kind of funny when he realised that the problem is that. Benni looks down a sight red blush in his cheeks not knowing how to answer that.

“Duuuh…”

“It´s fine, Benni. I was just joking. Yes, he is just my friend” And even if Mats has said that he was joking he tries to emphasise the word just to make things clear. Marco is just his friend; the only person that he is interested is Benni even if he doesn’t tell him. “Marco has a big history with relationships but not with me”

“Really?”

“Marco had this relationship with one friend of him. This kind of friend who is always in your life, you know?” Benni nods at his words because he can think about his ex-friend like that too “And when they were together it was like watching fireworks and everything between them were so wild and young that even I was a little bit jealous about them but at the end everything consumed them and Mario left, abandon Marco with a bad heartbreak. He still hasn´t overcome it but Auba is there, Auba is this French´s teacher in my school, and when they are together there isn´t fireworks but there are stability and trust. Marco is better with him and I like it” Mats says thinking about his friend and how happy he is now to see him that good after all he came through.

“Woah. Do you really love your friend right?”

“He deserved the best. You probably don’t like him. He is a bit cocky and arrogant but he is a good guy”

“If he is your friend I´m sure he is more than cocky and arrogant” Mats smiles and gently push Benni´s shoulder while they are walking to the restaurant. That´s something that Mats does a lot when he is with Benni, he tries to touch him whenever he can and Benni just let´s it be because he doesn’t mind at all.  “But Mats you have told me about your friend, I would like to know about you. Any big love story for you?”

Mats grumbles because he doesn’t like that conversation but after they has found a table to have dinner he tells Benni about Neven and the lack of romanticism in his life. He just talks about how comfortable he was in that relationship that at the end there wasn´t any other feeling apart for routine and comfort. Mats ends the conversation saying that he hasn´t had luck in the love part and Benni watches him because god, he wants to be that person, he wants to move Mats´ life and make it special. But he doesn’t say that too. Benni prefers to explain his only serious relationship with his ex-old friend because it´s similar to Mats´ if you dismiss the part where instead of talking about what was going on between then his partner chose to fuck with someone from his work. And Benni with the dessert still in the table and the candles that where on top of it almost burn, realises that he never loved him not even a little bit, not in that way when you find the right person.)

The relationship that changes your world but still it´s the same because it would never want you to change.

That night when Benni is at his open door with Mats saying goodbye to him he gives Mats a kiss on the cheek. Mats stays there a few minutes later in shock about the kiss but with a big smile on his face and hoping for more kisses like that.

The next morning Benni would blame the bad wine and the bad conversation that he and Mats had in the restaurant (because thinking that Mats is not just a stupid crush that he is start to be something else, something bigger, scares him a lot).

Benni doesn´t say anything the next day and neither does Mats because he is just fine with the memory in his head. They are still the same, with the same kind of relationship until one day when Benni´s door bell rings almost at lunch time, waking him up. He had been sleeping all the morning long because his last shift was so hard. He opens the door thinking that probably the vacuums seller was there again trying to sell him the new one. But what a surprise he takes when the man who is in front of him is his ex-boyfriend. Benni gasps, attempting to close the door at the same time because he doesn’t want to see him. He doesn´t want to know anything about him.  But Neuer is fast and puts his hand at the door making Benni face him.

“I don’t want to see you again, Neuer,” Benni shouts in front of his door. He is so angry that he doesn’t even bother that all the building is going to know what is going on there.

“But Benni, listen to me…”

“Don’t call me Benni and I´m not going to hear you.”

“You are not fair.”

“What?! You are fucking telling me that I´m not fair when I was the one that found you in bed with someone else?”

“It was a mistake…” Manuel snivels when he realised that Benni is not going to forgive him. “A one night mistake.”

“A mistake is forgetting the keys inside your house. Or saying something rude when you don’t have to. But fucking someone else is not a mistake… It´s… It´s…”

“You love me.”

“I loved you, Neuer. Now I´ve started a new life. I have good friends and a good job.”

“But you are alone. You need me.” Neuer tries to make Benni feel guilty even if he is not. Because that was what Manuel always did.

“I´ve never needed you, Manu. I can be happy without you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Benni _sweetheart_ , what is going on?” Mats asks appearing in the stairs with the shopping bags in one hand and looking at the two men inquisitively. He has heard the last part of the conversation and he wanted to help Benni. He didn’t have to be smart to know that the other man was his ex-boyfriend.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Benni’s boyfriend of course the question is who are you?” Benni looks at Mats like he has gone crazy but Mats walks next to him and puts his arm around his shoulders. Benni understands that Mats is faking it. So he plays his role too and he leans into his body because he feels safe there and he can pretend too.

“You are not; I´m his boyfriend. God Benni, how can you do this to me?” Neuer raises his hand to the air because he can´t believe that Benni actually has started a new life without him.

“Neuer, it´s been two years. We are nothing. I don’t even know how you´ve found where I live now. But please, just leave. I´m happy without you.”

“You are going to regret this, Benedikt,” Manuel replies and Mats gets crazy because he doesn´t know the other man but he can´t see Benni suffer that much.

“Look, Neuer. Fuck off. If I see you here again, I will hit you and I´m good at it. Benni has turned the page and he is with me now. You should do it too.” Neuer looks at them thinking about his next move but at the end he decides that he can´t do anything there so he left swearing to everybody he knows and leaving Mats and Benni in the same position for a few minutes until they hear the door of the building close.

“I´m glad you left him. He is an asshole,” Mats whispers against Benni´s hair feeling how Höwedes is trembling against his body. He would kiss Benni in this moment if he hadn't known that Benni would have got mad and scared about it.

“Thank you,” Benni says quietly against his clothes now moving of his embrace. Mats just hugs him a little bit stronger because he just wants to see Benni smile again.

“You don’t have to say anything. But if he bothers you again, call me. I will be your boyfriend again.” Mats smiles at Benni who just smirks a little bit because he is still shocked about what has happened. “And come on, let´s go inside your home. I´ll make dinner for us.” Mats lifts the shopping bags that are still in his hands, and without waiting for an answer he enters in Benni´s house holding his hand and hoping that he can make the other one forget about the incident.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	3. Millions of things, there´s only one that changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know whay I am doing with my life.

Benni doesn’t remember anything when he wakes up and sees Mats next to him in his bed snoring as if the world would burn he just doesn’t care. Benni is gaping and thinks how in hell that had happened and then he remembers. He remembers Neuer being an asshole and he also remembers Mats being his false-boyfriend. How in shock he was that Mats made him the dinner almost feeding him because he was trembling so much that the spoon never got full at his mouth. And after that, without asking, because Mats wasn’t going to let Benni alone that night, he lay down Benni in the bed and he just stay with him until he hear the soft breaths indicating that he was sleep. Benni has to smile at the memory because Mats had been so kind to him the night before and he realizes, with his eyes still itching for all the hours that he has slept, that he might be in love with Mats.

He hates himself because he knows Mats doesn’t like him in that way and he really appreciated the friendship with Mats even if he can´t kiss him which is what he would do in this moment watching how Mats is stuck at his side looking for his body´s heat because it´s cold outside.

He is just thinking about leaving the bed and go to have a coffee, big news always gets better with a cup of coffee in your hand, when Mats puts his hand in Benni´s chest and mumbles something that Benni doesn’t understand. Probably nobody in the world could understand what Mats has tried to say. Benni doesn’t want to think either about the hand that is in his chest because maybe Mats can feel the fast beats of his heart.

“What?” Benni says looking at Mats who still has his eyes closed.

“I said, don´t freak out, Benni” Mats growls moving next to him trying find another posture more comfortable without taking away this hand. “Yesterday I fell asleep and… shit. Shit! The School. What fucking time it is?” 

And Benni has to laugh because Mats always makes everything so easy around him. He has just realized that he loves him but he can´t stop laughing at Mats´ face when he thinks that he had just missed going to work.  

“Don’t worry sleepyhead. It´s 7 am. I can´t sleep more than six hour because of my work so you would never nod off. I´ve saved your life, I know”

“Thank god, Marco would kill me if he had to go with the six year old kid. He hates them” Mats tells him hiding his head in the crook of Benni´s neck and it´s feels so natural that Benni almost slips the big secret about his feeling.

“Tell Marco to thanks me, then. But if you want to be on time, let´s go to have breakfast.  I don’t want Marco to kill me for delayed you even if I don’t know him yet” The response that Benni gets is another growl from Mats who is enjoying a lot being so close to Benni that he doesn’t want to get up never again.

“Can I say to Marco that I´m sick? And we can stay here until lunch or the dinner. I don’t care”

“Come on Mats. You seem like your kids…”

“But muuuum, I don’t want to see that awful teach who doesn’t know what a hair brush is” Mats jokes making Benni bursts out laughing. And they don’t know how or maybe they know but they don’t want to think about it when they finish face to face looking at each other.

The silence between them can cut the air. Mats looks at Benni´s lips and thinks again how much he wants to kiss them and to hug him. But on top of it he wants to tell Benni how good he is, and the asshole of an ex-boyfriend that he had has nothing to do with him.

Because he is so kind. He is the boyfriend that he was looking for and is just in front on him.

“Do you have the jam that I like?” Mats says breaking the moment that they had created a moment before. He just wants to wait until he can kiss Benni properly, because he knows he would do it sometimes. But he will wait until Benni is ready when Neuer is no longer a shadow in his life.

“Yes, I bought it for you the last week, remember?”

“I´m going to start sleeping here every night. The breakfast is better than in my house”

“With that awful coffee machine that you have I understand you” A relaxed Benni say coming off the bed and looking for this house slippers because he always lost them.

“Ugh rude Benni my coffee machine is the only thing that has been with me through all this years. I love it even if it´s not the best”

“You are a romantic, Hummels. I will buy you another one for Christmas and you will see how easy it´s going to say goodbye”

“Well, if you buy it to me and you promise you will use it too while we have breakfast together I can accept the gift” Mats smiles seeing how red Benni´s face has become. If he loves one thing about being with Benni is getting the colors in his cheeks. He turns around and give the back to Mats who thinks about how Benni´s ass is absolutely his favorite in the world. “Ok then, let´s go to have breakfast because I´m already hungry”

“You always are, Mats” Benni shouts at him already in the kitchen and waiting for Mats who appears minutes before with a beautiful smile and starts to prepare coffee for both of them while Benni toast some bread for the jam.

Actually, the breakfast is so natural that if Marco could see then he would laugh at Mats because they really seem that they are married.

***

In the hospital Benni has some nights that are awful. When a patient get really sick and he has to taking care of him almost every minute. Changing the medication, taking the blood pressure, watching if that surgical wound has opened and he has to close it. But there are other night, the good ones, that he can organize the place where the nurses are this nights are when he can go to see Julian how are always in the lab studying something weird with blood and platelets.

The lab is quiet and they can talk almost about everything except people from the hospital.  

There were one night years ago when they were gossiping about a doctor when he appears in the lab. They never knew if the doctor heard them or not.

“Are you nuts, Benni?” Mats´ topic is the favorite thing for Draxler to talk about that last moths and more when Benni told him about Neuer´s visit.  

“No?” Benni murmurs trying to find in the archive room a patient´s file that he couldn´t find a few days ago and we wanted to look at it because now he has a patient with the same illness. Julian was with him eating a chocolate bar and watching how Benni got desperate looking for it.

“So… You are telling me Mats pretends to be your boyfriend in front of you fucking ex-boyfriend and you still think that he doesn´t like you in that way” Julian would throw the chocolate bar to Benni if it wasn´t the last one that he had for that night.

“He is just a good friend”

“God Benedikt I am a good friend and I would kick Manuel´s ass but I would never fake being your boyfriend. And I wouldn´t sleep in the same bed with you! Don’t be blind for fuck sake.”

“Yeees! I´ve just find the good damned file.”

“Good for you but what are you going to do about Mats?” Draxler accuses Benni knowing his friend and what he was trying to do.

“I´m going to be his friend and not going to tell him that I like him a lot. Do you get it?” Benni says with a sharp voice that Draxler doesn´t get mad at it because Benni always tries to get away with the problems not talking about them.

“I know you are scared Benni…”

“I have to do the cure of this patient Julian…”

“You should do something with Mats. Kiss him. Tell him. Whatever you wanted to do but good, just do something. You deserve the best and Mats seems to be the best for you”

“He doesn’t….”

“Nothing Benni. You don’t know and you will never know if you don’t do anything”

“And what about him? If he likes me like you say why does not he do something, eh?” Benni humbles because that has been his biggest fear since he realized what he feels about his neighbor. And Draxler shrugs at his rhetorical question because he doesn´t have an answer about that.

“Maybe he is waiting for you move. I don’t know him but I do know you and I think you should try it.” Benni nods at the response when his pager sounds and he just has to run leaving the file to Draxler for not lose it again.

Benni thinks a lot about what Draxler had talked to him. And he almost tell Mats when he is waiting to him in the door of their building with a tee in his hand and a donuts that Benni is going to eat before going to bed.

But he doesn’t because he has not time, not when Mats has to go work. So he waits until the perfect moment.

**

Benni doesn´t think too much a few days later when he finishes at the door of Mats´ School waiting for him for invite him in the nice restaurant that he had read about in a magazine. When there are just a few kids in the playground, late parents he thinks, and he doesn’t see Mats he starts to worry about if Mats has lied to him. But he doesn’t run, not now, not after all he has get though and what Mats has done for him.

“Excuse me, Mats Hummels works here, right?” Benni ask the blond young teacher who looks at him and raises one eyebrow without losing the focus on the children.

“And you are?”

“Benedikt, I am Mats´ neighbor… I don´t know if you…”

“Fuck, you are the famous Benedikt. How nice is to meet you at least!” Marco shakes Benni´s hand being almost sure that that Marco must be Mats´ best friend. In this moment a little kid appears next to Marco and pulls his trouser asking for picking her up. Marco does it and the kid look at Benni fronting because she doesn´t know who he is but she forgets soon when Marco asks her what happen.

“When is my mum coming? I want to go home”  

“Well, she is probably in traffic. She will be here soon, don’t worry”

“Ok. And he is your friend?” the kid say remembering Benni´s presence again and making Marco smile at her innocence.

“Oh no, he is Mats´ friend. The teacher who gives classes to the oldest kids”

“The one that my mum says is so handsome?” Benni and Marco have to laugh at it because both knows, Marco is very aware of it, that most of the mom's really enjoy going to pick up their kids just to see Mats smiles at them. Benni thinks if it was his own case he would do it too.

“Marco put me in the floor again” the energetic girl says because who wants to be more than two minutes with old people like his teacher and his friend. Marco follows her orders and he watches as the kid returns with his friends to the playground.

“Anyway, I´m sorry for the delay, Mats is today in the detention´s room. I will bring you there. He is going to be so happy” An amused Marco tells Benni while he starts walking though the building and hoping Benni follows him. “He really speaks a lot about you but I have to say I was disappointed when he told us you were a nurse. Man, how cool it would have been if you had been an assassin… I would write Mats autobiography…” Benni listens to Marco between amused and cynical but he also thinks that he likes Marco with his quirky sense of humor.

“Well, you are a teacher so…”

“Point taken and the same answer Mats gave me. You must get marry, seriously.” Benni almost chokes in his own spit when he hears Marco but he doesn’t say anything because Marco opens a door and Mats is there reading a book and a few students, 12 years old Benni would say, are looking at the clock waiting that hour to finish as soon as possible. “Mats, I think your boys have learnt to behave. And I have a surprise for you…”

Mats looks at the door wanting to kill Marco because children when see a teacher weakness are not the best but when he sees Benni behind Marco with his shy smile he just look at his kids and says to them, with his serious tone, that they can leave but he hopes not see again something like today.

“I will let you two lovebirds talk” Marco break out laughing when he sees Mats and Benni faces.

The kids, who run out the room, shout a goodbye to the two teachers and Marco follows them too yelling at them: “Don’t do anything I wouldn´t do”

“I´m going to kill Marco, seriously” Mats mumbles with his cheeks still pink because of Marco´s comments.

“I like him. He is nice” Mats looks at Benni surprise because even if he doesn’t know it yet, he really wanted that Marco and Benni get along.

“Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Can´t I come to see you? I mean…” And Benni wants to die because that has sound like if they are kind of a couple but they are not. “What I want to say is that you always come to the hospital to pick me up, and today I have a free day and we can go to have lunch… but if you can´t I will go to my home…”

“God Benni, I´m happy that you are here” And Mats, for making his point stronger, put his arm around Benni´s shoulder and he relaxes against his lap while they walk to the teacher´s room.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr ](http://osodegominola.tumblr.com/)


End file.
